LIPSTICK ON YOUR COLLAR

"Lipstick on your collar told a tale on you!" I am sure the old timers would recall this super-hit song by Connie Francis in the late 50s. The rural India though prefers the chaste Bhojpuri, "Lagaweli jab tu lipistick, hilela Arra district" ( When you apply lipstick, the whole Arra district shakes!!") Lipstick is an essential part of the makeup kit of ladies. In some parts of Punjab it is essential for a married lady to put on a lipstick much like the "mangal -sutra”. Lipstick became lip colour and then lip gloss, hair dye became hair colour, kohl became the eye liner and so on... Some ladies prefer a nude lipstick, which is as close to the skin tone or colour to make it appear as though the lady hasn't worn any.  Incidentally in the Army, Colonels and above proudly adorn the lipstick on their collars, as the collar dogs are also red in colour.

But the whole idea of a makeup is to appear different from what one actually is, as this exercise is religiously undertaken by most ladies to provide a  screen hiding away the perceived blemishes. Makeup is not a new phenomena as since times immemorial the fairer sex has been indulging in this practice, applying henna on the hair, the hands and the feet, cream on the face, kohl smeared eyes and so on. Modern makeup is more synthetic as against the herbal variety that village belles were used to. In army parlance, makeup is akin to a false front, making the adversary deploy earlier. Naturally menfolk get carried away by this facade and surrender meekly. It is here that the lipstick actually comes in handy, when you are philandering around the lipstick on your collar has a tale to tell which the lady of the house is quick to catch on. But the more discerning ones can even smell the perfumes and catch the erring spouses in their act. 

While growing up mothers took pains to deck up the kids, so we had coconut oil generously applied on our scalp and a moisturiser on our cheeks to prevent them from chaffing was the norm. Girls needed the braiding of their hair in addition. We outgrew these and stuck to just after shave and colognes but girls naturally needed to look petite and cute while we had to look rough and rugged so we chose different courses. These days it is not a makeup but a makeover actually, there are many an instances when the grooms have been shocked to discover the true face sans makeup. With our fixation for photography and video, there is a clear instruction from the camera personnel that unless the face is well done up, the photographs will not be upto the mark. "Makeup Artistes", yes that is how they are referred to these days, no longer the simple "makeup men" of yore who were nondescript and were almost like a footnote even in the credits of any movies that we saw. Today these artistes are not just frightfully expensive, you could buy may be a tola or two (10 to 20 grams) of gold instead, and even after coughing up these humongous sums, their availability is suspect. So “muhurtam” for the wedding depends more on the availability or otherwise of the makeup personnel.

In the nineties as the economy started to break out of the licence raj shackles, the cosmetics giants of the world recognised the potential of Indian market and guess what? They unearthed the hidden  beautiful Indian damsels. So we had Sushmita, Aishwarya, Priyanka, Lara winning the beauty pageants  being crowned Miss Universe and Miss World. As suddenly as they stormed these events with similar abruptness the later ones failed to make a mark. Obviously they had achieved their aim, cosmetics industry got a huge fillip and grew astronomically thereafter.

The good old "beauty parlours" have now given way to "Salons", naturally they sound more hep, being French in origin and then they have taken this business to another level altogether. The pedicure, manicure, hairstyling, facial massages, spas all cost quite a packet with ladies convinced that they will exit as 'femme fatale' making heads turn. Ironically the natural charm sans any makeup makes the girl much more attractive and charming, but alas this logic is rarely paid any heed to. As it is we are blessed with a warm climate and during the wedding itself many brides have their makeups ruined as mercury does not have any respect for all the layers of primers, foundations, concealers, highlighters and so on. As age starts to catch up, the urge to look younger gets stronger and frequency of visits to the salons multiplies manifold. But as an Urdu poet has so aptly described ,

"उनका मकसद है मिसाले-हूर हो जाना। 

मगर ये बात किसी बेग़म की समझ में क्यूं नहीं आती,

कि मुमकिन  ही नहीं किशमिश का फिर से अंगूर हो जाना।"

Translated roughly to "Their aim is to appear like a fairy but madam doesn't understand that it is not possible for resin to become a grape again".

PS - Begum is obviously not too pleased, now I am on the lookout for a guest room for a couple of days!