DON THE TRUMPETER & HIS ORCHESTRA

 

Don the Trumpeter is at a loss now, he inherited an orchestra, a full ensemble  with all the accompanying instrumentalists, the percussionists, the guitarist, the pianist, the drums, the clarinets and he was elevated to be the conductor to play a new symphony which was to be timeless and would make the Americans go gaga over his MAGA . But Don was not interested in doing the just the MAGA, he believed that greatness began at home, he had faith in his creative genius and felt he could create his own masterpiece and leave a lasting legacy behind. First he started to play the ‘tariff’ tune, keeping the scales unpredictable, the audience had to join in, thus making it a unique kind of fusion. Simultaneously he was tuning into the ‘Nobel’ song of peace, which did not find any response barring the odd Paki courtier, who had been out of favour for long, desperately trying to wriggle into the chorus group. 

Then came the ‘Venezuela theme’ song, executed to perfection, leaving the audience gasping, wondering where is the crescendo headed? In between Don fumed and fretted, swinging his wand, left, right and centre and blowing his trumpet all this while. A conductor with his baton, blowing his trumpet was a new one for the music world. Normally the trumpeter was kept outside the ensemble and played occasionally when the rich repertoire needed to be given a boost. This conductor just refused to part with his trumpet, blowing it away to glory without a care if the audience was interested or not. People were amused at first, then irritated but were forced to suffer, as the conductor could not be offended, lest he start his tariff tunes again.

Cacofonix, the Gaul bard was not amused, as he had the sole rights on ‘out of tune’ music and rendering cacophony in the world, but here Don the Trumpeter, had usurped his place. The audience was left shuddering and remembering the good old days of plain and simple cacophony. The musical crests and troughs had taken on a life of their own, making it not just resemble an electro cardio graph, but actually leaving the audience on life support itself.  The other orchestras were at a loss as no one dared to play when the Yankees played, the Chinese were watching it with interest smelling a chance to be the conductor in the near future themselves, provided this cacophony continued. The Russians too had their skin in the rendition, as they were playing a different tune elsewhere, but wouldn’t mind throwing their hat in too. Israel emerged as the one controlling and directing the show remotely. Indians were more into their own classical ragas, the Western versions were no longer music to them, unlike some time earlier, when they were happy tangoing rather than attempt playing their own signature tunes. 

Don having commenced the latest symphony with all the percussionists at hand was at a loss as to how to get the strings to mellow it down, while continuing to blow his own trumpet. He got stuck on ‘Mi’; the rest of the notes from the “do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti” solfege were left sulking, as ‘Mi’ was his favourite note. Meanwhile Iranians has taken the wind out of Don’s instruments, they consider music to be anathema and don’t take kindly to it at all. Iranians of late believe in just ‘droning’ which they have perfected in such a manner that their whistling sounds is definitely music to the Mullahs. Don appears to be modern day Nero, content playing his fiddle while the world itself is in flames. The only hope being the ‘TACO’, the world is desperately waiting for him to finally render it and may be sanity may soon prevail in the music world as well.