Dare to Stare

 L&T Chairperson Mr Subrahmanyan is a wise man and speaks out of experience, so friends don't just listen to his sane advice but take it as a gospel, because the sooner you do that you will have attained nirvana as far as marital bliss goes at least.The mistress of the house is obviously not to be stared at, Mr Subrahmanyan committed this cardinal sin and paid for it dearly. Ask any of the much married men if they have ever dared to stare at their spouses and you will realise that his statement is worth pure 24 carat gold. "Don't you dare even look at me that way forget about staring", is how my better half chastised me more than three decades ago, when I was merely trying to contemplate my response at an argument we were having. I am sure you have heard of the old saying, 'If looks could kill..'. 

Eyes convey a lot more than what is visible, as Shubha Mudgal crooned in the 90s "Seekho na naino ki bhasha piya.." ( Learn the language of the eyes). Alas the piya or the beloved in question is so dumb that he is simply incapable of grasping these nuances. My granny used to say that her sons are naive and they don't understand all these glances, she was so right. There is another beautiful Urdu couplet " Nazar jo uthi to dua ban gayi, jo giri to haya ban gayi, jo gir ke uthi to khata ban gayi aur uth kar jhuki to ada ban gayi" ( Eyes are raised in prayer but if they droop they are coy and if risen thereafter it is a dare and finally if lowered becomes graceful). 

Mr Subrahmanyan obviously went to an all boys convent, as anyone who has ever ventured into a coed would vouch for the fun of getting into a staring contest with the girls, we could outstare them any day. But the same girl once she adorns the mantle of a wife she doesn’t need to get into any such trivialities as she knows that just one look …

Bosses are known to be making threats of all kinds, in the corporate world, in bureaucracy and of course in the uniformed forces, because the fear of the stick always works. But this is the most innovative way devised by this genius, where he has actually camouflaged it in such a sane advice. I have been a boss in my previous avatar and was supposed to be quite a hard task master, I must have issued all kinds of threats, open or veiled driving them towards professional excellence, but never realised that it was their getting into this staring contest which was the major obstacle in their progress. How I wish I had the privilege of this stratagem then..

Once the realisation dawns and it doesn't take much time that  staring doesn't get you anywhere then one devises better ways to keep out of harm's way by seeking refuge on the golf course or a tennis court or just about anywhere else. Sundays can be better spent at a number of places to avoid that sideways stern glance but I am sure Mr Subrahmanyan was not concerned regarding any other way to avoid the stare, but for the poor sod to troop into the office and clock those hours. Mr Subrahmanyan or should I just call him Subby which probably would be how he would be addressed  if he was in the Army, should know better than that as Mr Mahindra said publicly it is not the number of hours, which is what the babus do, but the quality of output which matters. Much as I would have liked to convey with my eyes, but then I have no choice so here I am putting it in words, take a chill pill buddy.  With due apologies to the author of this hymn,

 "Staring, staring, if we all keep staring, all the time we have, 

How we annoy and in pieces and total resentment... Staring..."

 Yes for the record, I only give loving glances at my adorable beautiful wife, stare I dare not!