CHITRAGUPT

Chitragupt is the Hindu God who is responsible for data management, keeps track of your deeds, 'karma' and boy He must be  a nerd to be able to manage such a huge volume of data. I am sure he would have got the best possible tools for Big Data analytics. He may not need Artificial Intelligence as with His supreme intellect he would be able to do all the analysis even before you can say Jack Robinson or better still Ramesh Singhania.  All the same I am a recently converted admirer of his abilities at book keeping. 

 I was just entrusted with the task of compiling the data of my NDA course-mates and here I am at my wits end after more than a fortnight having barely made any progress. By the way I am supposed to be at a decent level of computer literacy and what I presumed to be child's play, with the good old Google docs form doing the needful and I could just pick it up and work at it and hog all the credit. But this task of getting these lazy bums to shake their booties and fill in the details is beyond even Hanuman so it can't be human. It would be easy perhaps to get Sanjeevni than try to elicit responses from these rascals. Newton's Second Law of Motion works in only one way here, the inertia of rest, simply impossible to shake them out of it, but there is no inertia of motion as they can come to a grinding halt without any external force, because the natural state of an ex NDA is to be permanently at Rest only. The movements are purely momentary lapse of reason, whenever it does occur, if at all.

Having finally kicked their butts as that is the only force which works here, they did comply and started to fill in the details. But the battle had just about been joined, with many of them expressing their computer illiteracy and very proud of their exalted status, they naturally expected us to be the data entry operators to do the needful. As is customary, I had requested for their current photographs and family photographs also, primarily for the reasons of identification, as some of us have actually taken this ageing a little too seriously and have greyed and grown bald that even our mirrors may be refusing to recognise us. So it was wise to arm ourselves in advance rather than be shocked out of our wits that may jeopardise the merrymaking in the reunion itself. While some others have apparently been there at the Samudra Manthan and were the ones who stole the elixir and have defied the laws of nature totally by just maintaining that youthful handsome drop dead looks that again may cause a different kind of turbulence amongst the fairer sex.  The family photographs shared have their own unique stories with some with a toddler in their arms, now one is not sure whether  the progeny here is a result of a late bloomer in life or an early grand child in your arms. If the latter, it is not a matter of concern but if it is the former again, you are the cynosure of all eyes, after all, you still have it in you!!! while the others are all spent forces, empty cartridge cases...!!

God bless the 25 who have already made their peace and are sipping their drinks nice and easy waiting for their brethren to finish their innings to welcome us aboard. At the last count I had about 115  out of the 272 who had finally obliged. The balance, I think require some other means which I better leave to your imagination!!!