2 States Revisited

A couple of years ago there was a movie based on a Chetan Bhagat novel based on his own autobiography by the same name. A Punjabi boy falling in love with a Tamilian girl, wooing her and her complete family and the socio cultural issues which they face as a couple. But the culmination was a "they lived happily forever!" Over the last couple of days we were part of a similar wedding except that the groom belonged to the Bengali diaspora while the bride was the Military Tam-brahm Tamilian Brahmin. We have seen dear Meera grow up from the toddler days, the serious studious girl evolved into a pretty damsel and one fine day we found ourselves as her local guardians when she made a momentous career decision of joining BIT Mesra in Ranchi for her under graduate engineering. It is a proud moment for any parent to be conducted around in their schools of education by their kids, I found myself in a similar space. It was here that she met up with her Babu moshai,  the gentle genial Soham. 

That much for the introduction, yesterday we were witness to the formal solemnising of this holy matrimony, ' vivah ka pavitra bandhan' sounds a lot better,  this union of souls is not just holy, it is pure, and more in the spiritual domain in India . While I was pondering over this event, it struck me that as an Observer you can get the feel of the moment, unlike when you are an active participant in the rituals and the coordination which is typically part and parcel of any such mega event. Reminded of my son Abhijat's wedding just a couple of months ago. So here I was enjoying every moment of the typical Tamil wedding ceremony early in the morning in the land of Rabindra sangeet, it was the soulful flawless Carnatic rendition by Ramesh's mother and sisters which set the mood. Ramesh incidentally is the bride's father and my chuddy buddy, Meenakshi his lovely better half is also best friends with Preeti my own 'Shariq e hayat', the same thing in Urdu. The decor was so simple yet done very tastefully, simple bamboo stems decked up with marigold flowers,  banana stems which are considered very auspicious, apparently as each plant withers away after two three  young shoots have sprouted,  signifying procreation. The simplicity of the ceremony is probably the u s p of a Tamil wedding with the groom and the bride's father decked up in simple dhotis with bare torsos,  both appearing more ascetic than someone going to step into the rough and tumble of the  'grihasth ashram'! May be that's the reason why they begin with the Kashi yatra, where the groom to be, threatens to go to Kashi to pursue the spiritual path of 'sanyas', and the bride's father entices him with gifts to abandon the thought and accord consent to this matrimony. Gifts are simple just an umbrella and some sweets. How gullible we men folk are, we don't even wait for four pieces of silver before betraying our cherished and preserved bachelorhood.  We get hooked line and sinker and fall for our respective beloveds. But to be fair to dear Soham, bride as pretty as Meera would have shaken up the resolve of any Vishwamitra, so the charade of Kashi yatra was just fun and frolic... May be in bygone era of arranged marriages it provided a little lighter side to an otherwise very serious life event. 

Having fallen for the charms then, it was the turn of the Pandits to take Centre stage and their flawless 'mantrochhar',  the chanting of mantras reminded us all of the religious sanctity of the betrothal. Then finally having gone through the traditional havan and all the swahas it was time for them to literally swing around with all friends and relatives fishing over them, blessing them.  So curtains for the first part of the wedding was only after a very sumptuous Tamil spread for lunch, where even a hard core fork, spoon angrez like me gladly jettisoned the cutlery and relished the meal with my hands down to the last morsel. Not to forget the brief interlude of a South Indian Idly,Pongal filter coffee breakfast also. 

It was now the turn of the Bongs to get into the act, with an ethereal white rajnigandha mandapam and the groom decked up in his  traditional Bengali attire with the 'topor' the unique headgear looking the part,  Meera had transformed from the Tamil bride to a Banarasi clad  Bengali Bodhu, kohl eyed, with traditional Bengali  makeup on her forehead. The highlight of the evening was the seven pheras which the bride takes of the groom, while the bride with her face covered with paan ( betel) leaves carried by her brothers. Thereafter, the garland exchange and they were finally pronounced man and wife having gone through the motions not just once but twice on a single day. The traditional Begali dinner with Machh (fish) and Mishti Dohi, Rasogulla thrown in in ample quantities. No wonder their language and music is so sweet.

Watching Soham, I was convinced that girls invariably look for their Dads their beloveds, and just in case it is not so, then she makes all efforts to turn him into one. In Meera's case I don't think she had to make any effort, simplicity and decency were part of his identity,  a thorough gentleman with impeccable grooming, all credit to his parents Madhusudan Ray and Ananya. 

So the similarity with 2 states ended with just that the bride and groom were from the South and the Eastern part of the country. Here I think both sets of parents were very proud of their children for having made a perfect choice. So it was "yehi hai right choice baby". .