What a Bum!!

Dumb and Dumber was a 1994 Hollywood comedy starring Jim Carrey which many of us would recall, the Bum episode reminded me of the movie. The Bum and the Bummer or should I say Bumper, as, to my surprise I discovered that Bummer is a brand of couple inner-wear, which may again be offensive to some. Bumper on the contrary can be used as a noun, adjective or even a verb; we are familiar with the metal or plastic guard which protects the engine of our automobiles commonly known as the bumper; bumper harvest is another common usage as an adjective. Be that as it may, this isn't about English grammar. It relates to the Bum of the Bum, an exposed one at that, in the buff which stirred a hornet's nest. Yes now you get it, the Gully Boy had done the unthinkable gone ahead and exposed himself, well what did you expect from the urchin, after all in the slum lanes, such exposures are not frowned upon, in fact the derriere is often the target of many a kicks thrown around. The rump is the subject of discussion here, which is an object of admiration and desire for the hedonists. Without getting much into anatomical details and the personal preferences, suffice to say that nudity is somehow not palatable to Victorian prudence which we as a nation have adopted as our own. 

Nudity is natural, we were all born that way, that we clothed ourselves was courtesy the Original sin, which is the Biblical theory. Indians did not have any such qualms, we celebrated nudity admired it as an art form and even sculpted it in our temples. We are not ashamed of our bodies, they are as they are, natural without any silicones or tattoos, just the way we are. I wonder whether I was born in this state of Nirvana, which we all were, or whether it was NDA, the original National Defence Academy which was instrumental in driving it home. In the Armed Forces an alumni of NDA is known as "Nanga" or the "unclothed one", the reason for this epithet is that while in Academy, we bathe stark naked in the bathrooms, the uninitiated would say so does everyone in the privacy of their personal ones at home. There is a slight difference here, ours were the common bathrooms, with no shower curtains or partitions of any kind. We disrobed and stepped into the shower without much ado and did our job and carried on. I am sure the bums would have been looked at, may be even ogled at, but by and large as all were supposedly straight males, nobody gave a damn. It may surprise those who are not from the Services background that while in the shower, we would sing, practise our words of command for the Drill square or simply chat up with the neighbour in the shower. Some others would  be indulging in their weekly laundry, while some would just wait their turn. Shedding our clothes ceased to be an issue thereafter. People on the Railway Stations were scandalised, when Cadets would indulge in fun and frolic on the Platforms just opening the Hose pipe meant for the Railways and taking a royal shower, obviously sans a stitch of cloth on them during the NDA Special Train rides back home on vacations. During Summers a second class coach can be rather stuffy and a bath is looked forward to and  welcomed. Actually the Armed Forces personnel invariably get over such issues as they put their very lives at stake, clothed or naked, it is obviously more important to be alive.

But the question which begs an answer obviously is friend Ranveer is not a Nanga, then why has he decided to be bold and unabashed. He is a bankable star, his movies, his relationship with Dipika, his outrageous anchoring of Award shows and the ads, as it is keep him in limelight. He appears to be normal, then why does he have to do a Protima Bedi? Some of you may recall she ran naked on Juhu beach in the early seventies and scandalised the nation in an era without any social media. Her escapade had gone viral with every tabloid covering the juicy gossip. We have had Amir Khan do a PK and Milind Soman-Madhu Sapre covering themselves with a python in an advertisement for some brand of shoes. 

Was this sin  in pursuit of art? May be, he is mighty pleased with his bod and just wanted to show off. He is obviously bumming along, or bumbling along….What a bum….!!!!