TOOL KITS

Tool kits are distraught they have traditionally been the prized possession of the proletariat, Karl Marx and Lenin up there in heaven are watching over the goings on shocked out of their wits. The hammer and sickle of Comrade Mao are witnessing how suddenly the media is going hammer and tongs and sullying their good honest name and associating it with the
anti nationals. They have always stayed true to their conscience and believe they have helped the cause of nation building with their implements and the sweat and blood of the artisans who have used them and built this beautiful world, fed the people and finally even while they were laid to rest.
 This tool kit which has no physical tools whatsoever and is actually just a couple of lines of code put together by these white collar nerds on their keyboards with the PCs and laptops, have managed to create something so obnoxious with not even a ‘with your permission’. This is highly embarrassing and even downright shameful.

Hammers of the world have decided to go on a strike, no not their usual strikes on the anvil but as in ‘tools down’. In solidarity even screw driver has taken umbrage and left all the screws in the lurch, even the bar tenders have stopped mixing screw drivers in empathy. The spanner is genuinely upset that it was his calling to put the spanner in the works, but now these Gretas and Dishas have taken on this mantle. What has the world come to?

Hack saws and chisels are languishing in the carpenter’s bag as even ‘hacking’ these days is associated with these cyber warriors, gradually chiseling away at their domain. In fact domain has already been usurped by the good for nothing DNS (domain name system) which at one time was supposed to be job of the tool kit of an ENT surgeon’s scalpel correcting the ‘Deviated Nasal Septum’.

Plumbers and masons have wrenched their fists in sheer desperation, files were already quite upset at sharing their names with the infamous bureaucratic files which have traditionally been the nemesis of all honest working class gentry. As if that was not enough, even Bill Gates and his ilk have created files of their own which do not smoothen anything but instead give a crooked back to most of the youngsters who remain hunched in front of their screens.

The emergence of this tool kit is the last nail in the coffin of the carpenter’s tool kit. It is now time to call a spade a spade, enough is enough, if these misguided youths want to axe something they must pick axe their own feet. Obviously all this does not auger well, but even all the washers can’t wash away their sins.

The spirit level has demanded a level playing field, after all the sh*t which has been flying around ever since this kit was unearthed, it has asked for renaming it 'stool kit'! Probably more apt.