UNSOLVED MYSTERIES

UNSOLVED MYSTERIES

 "Bermuda Triangle",  also known as 'Devil's Triangle' the name itself is shrouded in mystery. Most of us recall this piece of geography in the North Atlantic Ocean bounded by Bermuda, Florida and Puerto Rico which had gained notoriety for reported disappearance of ships, aircrafts and people without any trace. While all kinds of theories have been propounded some as outlandish as this being the gateway to another dimension or that Aliens were somehow responsible for these acts. The reader must be at a loss as to why this 'kolaveri di' on such an obscure place which is so far removed from the current mess which the world finds itself in. There are no mysteries here, we all know where our money has vanished in the Tariff War, but there are some articles in our household which have displayed similar traits of disappearance without any trace. 

Before you go ahead, a statutory warning is mandatory as we are going into uncharted territories here at our own risk. So here goes, the first in the list  is the ubiquitous 'safety pin', which has been the saviour of many a damsel in distress. Many wardrobe malfunctions have been prevented from occurrence due the strength which these pins have displayed. Since it is such a handy accessory to have, its absence is almost catastrophic and can potentially lead to some tantrums on a lower end of the scale to a mini earthquake of sorts with the dressing tables and wardrobes bearing the  brunt. Safety pins are bought by the dozens or may be even scores but somehow magically they evaporate into thin air in due course. A distant cousin of safety pin is the ‘hair pin’, which also

displays similar traits, as they save the beauties many a blushes by tucking in the lustrous locks  at appropriate places. These too are procured in bulk and are observed to be lying idly by the bedside, on the dresser, in the rest rooms, on the basins, in the purses and the vanity boxes but suddenly one fine day they all do the Houdini act landing the lasses in a lurch.

While these two articles are part of the personal dressing of  the dames but there is yet another

thing which concern the ladies more but we all are equally effected. The clothespin clip, an item which keeps the clothes on the clothesline and prevents them from flying away or falling from grace into the dirt and grime on the floor. In fact in the metros, it is the balconies where all the clothes are hung to dry and without these pins some items can land scandalously in the balconies of lower floor occupant’s premises. This falling down  will result in a fall out of unimaginable proportions. 

Unsolved mysteries like the Bermuda Triangle or the case of missing safety pins, hair pins or the clothesline clips I bet is beyond the legendary Sherlock Holmes or Hercule Poirot. 

You must be wondering what has got into me that I have started delving into the household stuff, well suffice to say that I am a retired person with plenty of time at hand, running errands, one of these is self  inflicted, trying to collect the elusive clothesline clips. I know I have barely touched the tip of the iceberg here, readers will add to this list and will look forward to the additions in the comments.

Waqf

 

Waqf is the bone of contention these days, as we all know, it is an Urdu word and by now we also know that it refers to property donated for charity, dedicated to Allah, thus ensuring that it can't be sold or purchased or even transferred for personal gain. I know I am treading on dangerous territory here, but I hope my nonsense may just make some sense to the reader. So here goes, most of the people of mine and older generation have heard of Acharya Vinoba Bhave, Gandhiji's famous disciple, who embarked on a very noble mission of getting land to be donated by the landlords (zamindars) to be distributed to the landless. In today's age this seems like a harebrained idea, but surprise of surprises, post independence India was still under  influence of Gandhian utopian philosophy and Gandhi's disciples were venerated. More so as he had no personal or political ambitions, he was solely dedicated to social work. So he was  hugely successful in appealing to the landed gentry, the erstwhile rulers to be magnanimous  and as a result got lakhs of acres of land parcels all across India from Pochampally in Andhra to Ramgarh in Rajasthan which he dutifully distributed to the landless for agricultural subsistence. The movement petered out by 1960, as the idealism began to fade.

I am sure you are wondering why am I referring to this saint and what has he got to do with Waqf per se, well not directly but imagine there was a time when people donated land and today, it is the most precious possession with anyone.He would often say, "Sabai bhoomi Gopal Ki " ( All the land belongs to the Almighty). We are mere tenants on this planet, the land obviously is His, by whichever name you may like to address Him. To that extent, Waqf Board is right when they lay any claim on any piece of land, but then I am not so sure that any particular religion can lay exclusive claim on it. 

While there are many clauses in the proposed amendment of the Act, the primary reason is the land holdings and claims only, the other issues can be addressed. But that should not come as a surprise as our courts are literally flooded with land related civil suits and lakhs of cases are pending before the lordships. It is common knowledge that Railways, Defence and Waqf Board are the three largest holders of land in the country. Politicians over the years have been eyeing this for its huge monetising potential and there are encroachments galore with the connivance of the authorities. Naturally all three entities have been making an effort to zealously guard their possessions. While the first two are controlled by the Govt of the day, the third one enjoys freedom from any such restrictions, it is here that the govt wants to have some semblance of influence. The contention that no other religion enjoys any such patronage at such a large scale is also true, so to that extent it is discriminatory in nature. Will the govt be happy if similar provisions were incorporated for all the religions as separate boards, I am sure the answer will be in the negative. It would rather have no such entity but then in our multi religious multi-cultural heterogenous society one has to make exceptions bowing to sentiments of the populace within the laid down boundaries.

I am sure better sense will prevail on both the sides, where common ground can be found rather than head towards a clash. It would be prudent for the politicians of all hues to remember the greater cause rather then inflame the emotions. I can only say that we need to tread cautiously...

IT'S THE MONEY(MINERALS) STUPID

  

Going to the White House without a Tuxedo, now that’s an unpardonable offence, so friend Zelensky had this coming. I wonder what would have happened if it was Mahatma Gandhi  visiting the White House, dressed in his trademark loin cloth, the American media and the POTUS himself would have probably fainted at this horrendous act. Gandhiji when invited for a Tea party to the Buckingham Palace in 1931, went in the same attire. A journalist asked him about the adequacy of his dress for the occasion, he responded tongue in cheek that the King was wearing more than enough for both of them together. Friend Zelensky, off course did not get an opportunity to even clarify, such was the gravity of the offence committed.

I am not too sure whether any specific dress code is mentioned for such invites, there must be, as even in the Army, we ourselves are sticklers about sticking to the prescribed dress for the occasion. But as I gather the offence was taken on the attire as also from where was it procured, supposedly on Temu which is a Chinese e-commerce App akin to Amazon. Had it been from Amazon, probably Zelensky would have been spared the blushes.

I am sure you recall the childhood story of the ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’, to refresh your grey cells which have started to wither due to overuse of social media platforms, the story goes that the king was fond of new and fancy clothes. Once two conmen claimed that they had weaved an invisible cloth for him, which was unique and could not be perceived by the stupid or incompetent. Sure enough the king marched to his royal court through his capital adorned in this invisible cloak, where none of the courtiers had the guts to call out, till a child said what was visible to everyone, that the King had no clothes on, but none wanted to look like a fool. All that Zelensky was required to have claimed that his tuxedo is not visible to the oafs and the tables could have been turned. Instead he started to justify this act of his in the name of his patriotic duty to align himself to his countrymen who are in a state of war. 

Wars are profitable business, as everyone knows, except for the common people who suffer, but to businessmen it’s a huge opportunity and that is exactly what was visible to the the POTUS and his coterie. Friend Zelensky had not bargained for this unceremonious rebuke, as ever since the war broke out he was being hailed as a modern day Churchill against the might of the Russian Bear. Having been led up the garden path so far, this reality check was such a rude shock now that he was left holding the baby. I am sure he is on the lookout for the best fashion designer to fit him into his Sunday best for his next outing when he returns ready to sign on the dotted line. You guessed it, it is the money (minerals) stupid!

Hindu New Year??

Today is Gudi Padwa, spring festival, time to celebrate as this is first day of the Chaitra month as per Vikram Samvat, the Indian calendar, heralding the new year. It also marks the beginning of the Nav-Ratri  festivities where Divine Mother is worshipped, the devout observe fasts and rest of us feast. The North Indians , by and large avoid non-vegetarian food and liquor, which itself is a penance for them and will match upto any kind of fasting in terms of sacrifice. True to form there are messages galore on what's app with good wishes on this auspicious occasion. 

While good wishes are always welcome, there were quite a few who were celebrating this as the Hindu New Year, which caught my attention. We don't wish people on 1st Jan for a Christian New Year or an Islamic New Year as per the Hijri calendar. Is time as a dimension different for different religious beliefs? 

We divided time into hours, minutes, seconds, months, years, then lunar/solar calendars were designed to keep track of the time, but irrespective of the system, the rotation of the Earth around the Sun and its revolution on its axis remains sacrosanct. You may start your count from any particular point and will eventually return to the same point exactly 365 days and a quarter of a day later. So whether it is 1st Jan or Gudi Padwa or Navroz,  or for that matter any other random day, each day is the first day of a New Year in its own right. Just that globally the Gregorian calendar finds greater acceptance. Why did 1st Jan find more acceptance as the global new year, well that is obviously due to the colonialism that we all suffered in the era gone by. Since they were the lord and masters, time too had to be measured and kept account of in their own system. Gradually the rest of the world just followed suite more for convenience than for any scientific reason.

It is also universally acknowledged that the Indian Calendar or 'Panchang', as it is known is a lunisolar calendar, meaning it takes into account the movements of both the sun and the moon. Indian astronomers refer to the time-space dimension as "Kala" a single entity, interconnected, which is what Einstein went on to prove much later in the early twentieth century. Incidentally the traditional Chinese calendar too follows the lunisolar system

Anyway the aim is not to stir any hornet's nest, suffice to say that the New Year  is fine but let us not divide it into our religious beliefs. We all will continue to follow the Gregorian calendar for all practical purposes. Greetings for Gudi Padwa and a Happy New Year friends not just a Hindu New Year.

A Room with a View

You have got to hand it to Kunal Kamra, he has a knack of getting into all kinds of controversies. Being a ‘Stand Up’ comedian is a tough job really, firstly he has to physically stand as he can't afford to sit down during the shows, which must be quite an ordeal for him, going by his 'kamra' (room) of ‘kamar' (waist). Well as the adage goes in Hindi "यथा नाम तथा गुण " so you can't blame him for that. Frankly I find his brand of humour not just in poor taste, but also crass as the language he chooses to use is generously loaded with expletives in Hindi. Funny part is the show is in the Queen's language as most of his ilk are to the manor born, his fan following is  typically restricted to the Gen Zee and some of the millennials, as those born prior to that are quite chary when it comes to very colourful language that too in a family setting. 

In the Army we have two types of stuff, one which is kept purely for inspections, be it uniform or crockery, the other one is the 'daily use' variety. The inspection types get relegated to the daily use variety when a new item is procured. Similarly the means of communication with troops differ from that with the hierarchy or at home. With men in uniform, especially when troops belong to the Punjab, the language is colourful but if they are from the hills or down South, one better watch out, as they don't take kindly to such offensive language. Be that as it may, the use of slangs with friends makes communication more informal, so there is greater tolerance there. Even in these gatherings there are some of us who refrain getting colloquial and guess what, we are accepted as we are, despite this flaw of ours. 

But getting back to Mr Room, pardon the pun, this room definitely has a view and not just one but "Views", Kamra of course, he is a gutsy fellow, pokes the high and mighty and doesn't back down. The politicians may actually be cross with him as they are known to eat their words for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and here this guy just refuses to do that. The other remarkable thing about him is his allegiance to the group which is opposed to the present dispensation. We all know there is a good market out there, just write, speak, act in a manner which refers to the powers that be in a poor light and you shall be hailed as a messiah. You will turn into a social media influencer worth courting and you can laugh all the way to the bank. Any trash will do, but be prepared for all kinds of charges, libel suits and even physical threats, yes, the legal luminaries will fall over each other to take your cases even pro bono, nobody minds publicity, you see.

I may not like his comedy, but he definitely has a right to express it, written or verbal, as Voltaire famously said, "I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." A word of advice for the high and mighty too, if you learn to ignore such pricks, they will lose their nuisance value and they will literally be seeking refuge in some corner somewhere. Life of a social media celebrity is limited to the time he remains relevant, so take your call. If RK Laxman could not just get away with lampooning almost everyone he chose to and still walk away with not just his head held high but also being awarded the second highest civilian award, "Padma Vibhushan", you could too and the best part is even a family audience can watch it with pleasure for whatever is its worth.

Dignity Denied

Is a Sepoy or Sipahi same as the Constable or for that matter a Head Constable or Havaldar in the Army? The roles of Army and the Police Forces are well defined, as the former addresses external aggression , the latter handles the law and order within the country, however whenever the situation goes out of hand it is the Army that the nation turns to and Army on its part has never failed the nation barring 1962, where too the political leadership was more to blame.. Well the Armed Forces and the Police Forces may be donning the uniform alright, but I am sure we all know the colour of their uniforms distinguishes one from the other. But is the distinction just because of the colour of their uniform, which too has been usurped by the Central Police Forces by getting into the Combat uniform similar to those of the Indian Army. While it is understandable that organisations or individuals try and emulate their ideals and as Oscar Wilde said, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness." So the Police Forces went ahead and adopted the same set of Stars, Ashoka and Baton & Swords, flags for the cars and so on. 

All this was generally looked at with some amusement by the men in OGs, not realising that slowly and gradually the distinction between the Armed Forces and the Police Forces was getting blurred not just in the minds of general public but also the media and even the powers that be. Moreover with both these forces joining hands in the counter insurgency operations in the Kashmir valley as also in the North East, some sort of acceptance of  this new hierarchy was also gaining acceptance. Although the bulk of the work in the CI operations was still being done by the Army but the Police had to be kept in the loop as per the laws of the land.

Why am I referring to this fact today, well it is because, that is the crux of the issue of Indian Armed Forces personnel being meted out this step-motherly treatment by all and sundry in the Govt hierarchy. So much so that ill treatment of men in OGs has become quite a common scenario, as is evident in the recent shameful incident in Patiala, where a serving Colonel of the Army and his son were roughed up by 12 policemen. The fact is that the DG Police promising that action will be taken against the guilty can't be taken at its face value as the FIR doesn't mention the perpetrators and has been lodged by a Dhabawalla. The culprits are roaming around free, issuing threats to the victim's family. The fact that the Colonel's wife is the sister of a retired Lt Gen who has been the Corps Commander in Kashmir hasn't changed a thing. The irony is that not one politician from any party has thought it fit to condemn the incident. Without getting into the details of the case, which are already in public domain, the frequency of occurrence of similar incidents from different parts of the country is definitely alarming. We have had similar incidents in the recent past in Odisha, Rajasthan and now even in Punjab, where the Army personnel have always been given their due respect by the people, as most families have someone or the other in the Army themselves and are aware of the sacrifices which these battle hardened men have to make.

The malaise is not these incidents, these are mere manifestations of the rapid decline of the status of the Armed Forces in general and more so vis-a-vis the police forces. The perks, privileges, allowances, terms of service, the powers that they wield, and the resultant status in the society has been so orchestrated over these years that today the Armed Forces are treated with disdain, 

despite their professional excellence and being the last pillar of any democracy. The powers that be indulge in mere optics in the name of respecting this great institution but on ground they just simply ignore them. The situation is precarious and does not augur well for the future. 

I think it is high time, this issue is addressed at the highest level, lest the last vestige of dignity is also  snatched from us. Two Constables from Punjab Police have recently been commissioned into the Army, I just hope and pray they don't regret their decision in days to come.

Bura Na Mano Holi Hai

 "Bura Na Mano Holi Hai!" Holi is such a unique and colourful festival that irrespective age, caste, creed or colour, people can enjoy it to the fullest. The fact that it is celebrated during the Spring season signifies the colourful splendour of mother nature herself as though enticing not just humans but  all beings to join in this cosmic celebration. The micro and macrocosm all merge into this unique dimension when the universe itself is in a playful and joyous mood. Naturally all the fun and frolic may or may not amuse all and sundry, so before one commences operation, the statutory warning is issued, "Bura Na Mano Holi Hai!"

In our near six decades of existence on this planet, we have had myriad types of Holi being celebrated, with parents and siblings, with relations, with friends, with colleagues, with spouse and then with kids and now we are back, where we embarked on this journey in Indore, my hometown. While each Holi brings back memories but the most memorable ones were in the academies with friends. While in RIMC Holi was celebrated with the traditional Mandir parade followed by Holi with the masters, restricted to just application of gulaal and lots of sweets, in NDA, there was nothing official about the celebrations. In hindsight that was a wise decision as the Divisional Officers and Squadron Commanders would have been at the receiving end with all the cadets relishing the mere thought of immersing them with all kinds of colours. So naturally when the cats are away mice play the dirtiest Holi. We were in our second term, not sure how the even would unfold, two of us got ourselves locked in our room with some help from the orderly who got a princely sum of 11 Rs for this deed. We were quietly enjoying the scene which was unfolding in the battalion area, where some of the initiative type  sergeants were being targeted by the third and fourth termers. Invariably the modus operandi was quite identical, get hold of the senior, in this case he was notorious for collecting Identity slips by hundreds on a daily basis for any and every conceivable misdemeanours, committed or imagined to have been committed. At first, the victim tried to plead his case, but the Sergeant was a fastidious one, one couldn't please him any which way. We later got to know that the Identity slips which we all carried by the dozens played which he collected played a major part in his winning the coveted Maths book prize. He used these slips as one side paper to practise Analysis on them. But that realisation dawned on us much later when we realised that the I slip that he picked up did not end up in the form of a punishment in the Battalion Routine Orders of the day.

 Anyway so getting back to the Holi celebrations,  in the first phase he was chased and caught hold off, then  his clothes were torn away, thereafter he was plastered  with all the colours which were available then when he thought that the worst was over, he was dumped in the mud pit where the paste was generously applied everywhere till he gave up the struggle and resigned himself to his fate. Having gone through this with almost a score of cadets piling on him from every possible angle, he was in no state to resist and surrendered. 

The wiser ones amongst the senior lot normally took off for a long run early morning spending time in the hills till the evening rather than risk this misadventure. 

Our luck ran out soon as someone spotted us from down there and then the door and locks are no barriers for determined Holi-mongers, the wire-mesh which was normally our heavenly abode, as we were assigned to seventh heaven quite often, was smashed. I will deviate a little to explain the concept of this stint in heaven that all NDA cadets had to endure. The wire mesh, as I am sure the reader can visualise has number of wires crisscrossing symmetrically which adorns all the cabins on top of the doors, designed so thoughtfully  for ventilation and light. But we were normally found hanging on to the seventh strand of this mesh for our dear lives resting on our fingers alone. Shaolin has some unique methods of toughening up and strengthening the muscles, as we have watched these movies demonstrate in ample measure. They can take a leaf out of the NDA methods  too as our fingers learn to hold our body weight for hours together as any fall from this heaven did not land us in the Garden of Eden, instead we were rewarded with a kick in our royal derriere to be perched back on top.

So the mesh gave way and we were hauled out straight into the same pit and received the very same treatment. The only difference was we had given up right at the outset, so they did not enjoy inflicting the pain, as unless you resist, half the fun is lost.

Subsequent years we were wiser and stayed away from the celebrations. But the mud bath was therapeutic no doubt as it cleared all our misgivings as  our bodies were being manhandled. Now that is the closest one can be to the stage of nirvana as our soul literally was reduced to becoming an observer! Bura na mano Holi Hai!