CAT PEOPLE

 Cats have not taken it kindly and an offended cat is a dangerous one. Shakespeare wrote "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", I am sure he was not a cat person, else he would have known that you can't afford to get on the wrong side of the feline species. Republicans are treading on a highly treacherous path by trying to provoke the kitties, alluding to 'cat ladies' in derogatory terms and if that was not enough going on to allege that the mousers were so dumb that they could form part of the menu of the immigrants. Obviously they are ignoramuses, as these furry friends are as royal as the Asiatic Lion in their demeanour and attitude. After all haven't they heard of the tale, where the cat as the guru teaches all the tricks to the lion, but doesn't impart the skill of tree climbing. Lions are the undisputed kings of the jungle, so their gurus naturally are not hoi polloi. 

Anyone who has any experience of having been a pet parent would know that you can teach a dog tricks but cats are in a different league. They order you around, you kowtow to their preferences and in the bargain are trained to be a cat person. We have been fortunate that when we were growing up, we got the opportunity to be groomed by one of these species. We had a wild cat and a pomeranian both as pets at one point of time. While the kitten adopted us when my mother attended to her, when she was badly injured; the pup landed up a little while later. The kitten was not the one to be tied down to happy domesticity, she was wild and adventurous, would be out on a prowl for a hunt every evening. When cats are around mice can't make merry, so the household was pest free, she was the  pest control authority and executive. She would make an appearance in the wee hours of the morning, without bothering us, would settle down for its well earned siesta. Every morning she would demand and get her share of milk, apart from that when she wanted to oblige us she would purr around, snuggle close, but on her own terms. We couldn't demand attention as she would just royally ignore us, when she was not in the mood. Cats incidentally are very hygienic, they don't need to be cared for like dogs, you don't need to take them for a walk, they are not leashed and live very much on their own terms. While being elder to the pup she would indulge him at times, let him share her bowl of milk, even teach him a few tricks at times, but whenever she felt that the idiot had crossed the line she would let him know who is the boss, with just one stroke of her paw, the bugger would be made to beat a hasty retreat yelping. Those days we did not have any video cameras otherwise we could have captured some really interesting and memorable clips of their activities. Unfortunately we lost her when she did not return after  one of her nightly prowls. We could not find her and presumed the worst.

The cat connection is back these days, with three of them, mother and her two kittens having adopted us. Having lost out companion of 12 years, Buddy, our labrador, two years ago, we had decided on not keeping a pet. But today there are three canines, three of these pussies,  you can watch their antics on insta https://www.instagram.com/reel/C_3C6NzvPLA/?igsh=YzljYTk1ODg3Zg==

Host of squirrels and birds who have  made our home a mini zoo of sorts. In fact we also have a snake to give us company once in a while, making his presence felt by peeping through the window occasionally. Thankfully the windows were screened through the wire-mesh, else this friendship may have gone southward. My buddy Mayank is not just an animal lover, he actually seems to be living just for them. He has taken it upon himself to feed all of them regularly, in fact I have had to restrain him from permitting the dogs entry into the house, but cats obviously don't bother with such trivialities. 

Getting back to the Republicans and the sacrilege which they have committed, my humble advice to them is that cats and cat people should not be messed around with and if they haven't seen the movie, "Garfield" or followed the comic strip by Jim Davis, they better do, else they better resign themselves to the fate of hapless Jon. Cats have nine lives, they,the Republicans have just one!!

Pension Pangs

 Let me tell you a story today, IC36916 Col (TS) Erumbala Krishna Umashankar was commissioned in the Corps of Signals on 19 Mar 1977. A happy go lucky officer who like most of his colleagues in that era did not ever bother about personal documentation and barring the CC to bankers, did not look at the pay slip either. Discussing pay and allowances or money matters earned you the moniker of a "baniya" amongst friends. So he stayed all his life, lived  on his own terms, retired happily in 2008 and when the time came to meet his maker, he just did equally casually in 2017. This could be the story of any old veteran, but the saga actually begins now, his widow Mrs Suma Nambiar, while cleaning up the attic came across his PPO, where to her horror, she discovered that her late husband was receiving the pension of a Lt Col and not that of a Col, as he rightly should have been getting. She approached a friend of her husband's Col KPM Das, again a veteran Signaller. He asked her to dig out the complete correspondence so that a case can be initiated to get this minor issue addressed. Obviously, it appeared to be clerical error which was overlooked all these years and will be corrected once the documents are forwarded to the Army HQ for issuing the necessary corrections. So he presumed. 

But bureaucracy in any organisation is not that simple, they need to go by the rules. The officer had retired on 31 Jan 2008. A lot of water had flowed under every bridge in these 9 odd years, we had moved on to digital age big time with Part II orders  (the casualty publication of any occurrence, birth, death, promotion, earning a qualification etc) themselves having shunned the physical aspect, i.e. no more paper, HRMS (Human Resource Management System) was in vogue now. Army HQ observed that the Part II order for the late officer's promotion was incorrect, as the date of promotion should have been 16 Dec 2004 as per AVSC (Ajay Vikram Singh Committee) recommendations, where as the date mentioned in the Part II order was 16 Feb 2005. The letter was sent to the unit where the officer was serving at that time.   Interestingly, there were a number of letters correspondence from Army HQ with officer's rank mentioned as Col (TS) but  in his PPO his rank was Lt Col, so PCDA Pensions naturally released the pension as per the rank mentioned in the PPO. 

 In short, this was not as easy as it appeared. Col KPM Das, always a good samaritan, started chasing the file and asked me if I could be of any help. He was my CO in Bison Signals and has been my friend, philosopher and guide ever since. We all know that networking goes a long way in all walks of life, but more so in the Army. By this time almost six years had elapsed. The veteran's pension had moved to the SPARSH portal. I forwarded the bumph of the documents to my friend and course-mate Lt Gen Sree Hari, who is the current DG Manpower in the Army HQ.  The documents comprised letters from the MS Branch regarding his approval in the Promotion Board, letters to the PCDA(O) for his DSOP, ADG MP for his medical examination pre-retirement, and so on, even his retired officer's I card where his rank was mentioned as Col (TS). Having known Sree, for over  four decades, I was sure that he will not only help out, but ensure that it is done quick time. His staff diligently went through the complete set of documents and unearthed that the Part II order published for his promotion by his last unit was put under an observation. The subsequent amended Part II order was despatched to the Army HQ without the signature of the Officer Commanding. Now there was a twist in the tale, the unit Defence Standardisation Detachment Cordite Factory Campus Aruvankadu (TN) published an amended Part II order but the OC forgot to sign the document and despatched it. Later the unit  was disbanded. So which unit  will publish the amended Part II order that too of a retired deceased officer? 

As the first step, the officer's pension was shifted to SPARSH. The next step was the publication of Gazette Notification, which was to be undertaken by MS branch. The MS Branch observed that a fresh Part II order has to be published by MP5. A case was taken up with PS Dte for the sanction for publication of the casualty. ORO (Officers Record Office) was not authorised to publish Part II orders of retired officers, so a case was taken up with MISO for allotment of SUS Number for MP 5 to publish these Part II orders. It had taken almost six months to reach here, but the battle was still on. Finally the module for publication of Part II orders for veterans was tested on HRMS and the first  Part II to be published on this module was that of Col Umashankar and forwarded to MS Branch for the Draft Gazette Notification. Thereafter the file was processed to PCDA(O) for initiating the claim, which was then approved by PCDA(P) and finally the amended PPO was issued.

 Today I am so proud of this wonderful organisation and also of the officers in the hierarchy who have spared no effort to get the dues of a deceased officer released to his widow. Having been there, done that, we are ware that bigger the organisation, longer the time for the wheels to trudge, but they do turn finally, only if we persevere. The challenge was daunting as there were number of agencies involved, and the credit is due to the relentless efforts of all the officers who were involved. The only concern that I have is, imagine the plight of an unlettered widow of our jawans who God forbids lands up in a similar problem, there is no way that she would be able to get her dues. Here, the DG himself was personally monitoring the case since it was brought to his notice. We need to look into this aspect as to how can we help just anyone and everyone to seek redressals without having to get the senior hierarchy personally involved in each such case.I would also like to impress upon all the readers to be particular about documentation, as they say, it’s not done till the paper work is done. Please check  and recheck your PPOs lest we leave our families with similar challenges.

We are like Quick Gun Murugan when we crib against anything and everything in our organisation. For a change may I through this blog convey my sincere gratitude to the complete staff in the Army HQ headed by my friend Sree, hats off to their sincerity, diligence and perseverance. Keep up the good work guys and make us proud. 

Darr ke Aage Jeet Hai

 

There are rules and there are laws, but then there are people who are above these mundane restrictions. We Indoreans are a cut above the rest, after all, we boast of belonging to the cleanest city in the country for a record seven times. We carry a chip on our shoulders and make it a point to economise on fuel consumption as well. Guess what, when there are three or four people wishing to go some place, we are prepared to rough it out and adjust on a single two wheeler. So much so that we make it a point not to travel if there are only two of us, but wait to get a third one to go with us. The traffic police are concerned about the pollution levels and the traffic congestion hence any two wheeler rider with just one or two riding them are subject to being hauled up for traffic violations. But three, four or at times even five is perfectly fine, the more the merrier, after all it is for a cause that we sacrifice our comfort. Most of us may not have heard of Chetwode and the Indian Military Academy credo of “…your own ease and comfort come last each and every time”, but we follow it religiously nevertheless. 

It is not just the number of pillion riders alone, which makes us special, but we are also daredevils as we believe in the dictum that helmets are for the sissies and avoid them like the plague. If for some reason, we are forced to carry them, then it is the elbow which adorns this headgear, as elbows need to be protected more than our heads. We are aware that our heads contain precious little and we could drive headless should the need arise, but elbows are an appendage which helps in steering the bikes as also for ‘elbow bending’

cometh the hour. Moreover the gush of wind which strokes our rugged persona and the flowing tresses go a long way in making a statement to the public at large and to our objects of attention about our larger than life image.

Traffic rules, well what are these, we have nothing to do with them. We are free birds and roam the streets in gay abandon with nothing to tie us down. So traffic lights and crossings serve a major purpose in displaying our skills at making a dash despite the incoming rush of vehicles from the opposite side. The motorcycle riders team of Daredevils of Corps of Signals of Indian Army can take a leaf out of our skills. Then we are also adept at demonstrating our manoeuvrability by squeezing through the tiniest of gaps between vehicles in our bid to emerge at the head. Our bravado is unmatched and even kamikaze pilots of Japanese Airforce can take a cue from our total disdain for ours or anyone else’s life. When we leave the premises in the morning even Gods cannot be sure whether we will be back in one piece. We can be compared to the revolutionaries as “Sar par kafan bandh kar hi to  hum chalte hain"

The municipality also helps us in honing our skills by ensuring that roads have adequate obstacles by means of potholes, unmarked speed-breakers and digging up large swathes of roads anywhere and everywhere to keep us guessing to make the whole exercise more interesting and challenging. During the monsoons, these potholes become puddles large enough to devour smaller vehicles and the trick is to negotiate them without flinching and emerging a winner. As the famous catchline for a famous ad goes, “Dar ke age Jeet hai!”

 

Devil Amongst Us

We have done it again! We seem to be really good at this, shameful but true we seem to excel here, RG Kar Medical College, Badlapur, Unnao, Kathua, Sandeshkhali...the list is endless. Have you ever wondered as to why do these horrifying incidents keep appearing in the news time and again? This can not be just a law and order issue, the rot lies deep within. We have been blaming the party in governance, the police investigations, the tardy judicial process and the general decline in the public morals. Yes all these are valid reasons but the most fundamental aspect which tends to be swept under the carpet is just one basic premise, the lack of samsakaras, bad grooming of our kids. In a healthy decent household, no, not rich or middle class, just any, where the kids are brought up on the right value system, where women although busy in their daily household chores are given their due regard and respect. The kids observe and imbibe that ladies are not required to be placed on a pedestal but just treated as equals, that ladies are persons with their own feelings and emotions which also needs to be respected. Even in hardcore patriarchal societies the women of the family had their say in the family matters and their honour was never compromised. 

The bottom line is we have overlooked this basic aspect of bringing up our kids, we have let them grow up to be rowdies with no respect for the fairer sex whatsoever. When we were in school 'Moral Science' was taught as a subject, where character building of children in that impressionable age was worked on. Somewhere along the way, this subject was dropped, so where and how do we work on the character of the young ones who will soon be a grown up youth expected to steer the family and the country on the path of growth and prosperity. I am afraid the answer is nowhere to be found, no wonder, 'character' as an attribute has done the disappearing trick in our country.

Money makes the mare go, all ills can be covered up, just buy whoever comes in the way, the complete legal process is in shambles. A criminal commits an offence, which criminals would always do, but then the cover up operation commences, where the Medical College authorities who are under the patronage of the local politicians and the biggest travesty is that the law enforcing agencies themselves become active accomplices. Isn't it ironic that we the citizens have to face the brunt? But then we too are to blame as we ourselves have handed over the reins to these goons by not being vigilant, have turned a blind eye to all their misdemeanours till we ourselves were the effected party. Merely parroting “Yatra naryastu poojyate ramante tatra devta” or “Beti bachao beti padhao”doesn’t help. In fact since we obviously don’t revere our women, the angels or devtas have disappeared and only devils seem to be roaming around,

The most ironical part this time around is that the state govt taking up cudgels to protect the culprits, as against the previous occasions such as Nirbhaya case where the govt of the day was in the docks and was on the defensive. The only reason is that the perpetrators this time around were under political patronage and needed to be protected for vested interest. It is obvious that they could not be sacrificed as their masters were linked and spilling of beans by the suspects could have knocked some high and mighty off their pedestals, may be even shaking the very edifice.

Everyone who is in anyway connected to the case must hang his or her head in shame rather than trying to justify this brutality. Has this sexual perversion epidemic  emerged all of a sudden or has this been latent somewhere, hiding away, just waiting in the wings to emerge from the shadows and shock the populace ? I think internet and the smart phones have definitely aggravated the  already perilous situation. 

So what exactly is the solution to this situation? Well, this issue needs to be addressed at multiple levels, firstly we must not let this whataboutery to continue, rape and murder anywhere irrespective of the govt and all political parties need to stand together as they do when it comes to raising their perks and allowances. Secondly, the long overdue police and judicial reforms need to be undertaken pronto. Unfortunately the policing in our country is not governed by the same set of ethos as those of the armed forces, where a failure of command leads to removal and court martial. The police officers serve the masters and not the people and are thus just transferred or suspended only to be reinstated later. If the DGP in this case was sacked as obviously post the crime, the shoddy investigations, the storming and vandalism of the hospital while police was a mute observer points to dereliction of duty. If the police chiefs were forced to face the music I am sure they would unequivocally stop looking at the political masters for directions and act as per the constitutional provisions. 

The silence of the so called liberals is also deafening, why is it that  every crime in a BJP governed state is commented upon by them, but in this case, cat seems to have got their tongues. We are concerned as citizens of this country, we deserve better governance and these criminals and their protectors must be punished in such an exemplary fashion that others don’t dare to cast an evil eye on women. 

TIPSY PUDDING

 Tipsy, the word itself is adequate to make most faujis start salivating; for the unfortunate and uninitiated this tipsy does make us go a little crazy, not that we are sane anyways. Tipsy is not a feeling of being ‘pleasurably high’ after a sundowner, but a dessert which when served to the cadets after a rigorous camp is a sight to be savoured for life. The Dharavi dwellers in front of the municipal water taps would be put to shame by the melee which results when a big patila full of this delicacy is placed on the table. The cadets are normally expected to take their fill in their mess tins which they carry with them, which serves as a universal dish for everything from a khichdi to eggs or toasts to veg with gravy. Mess tin is a set i.e. it has two dishes which fit into one another catering to the ravenous appetite of the trainees. 

We are also issued with mug enamelled,  for our morning evening cuppa, which finds multiple usages, as it doubles up as the mug for shaving, bathing and even for the big job in the morning. You must be wondering why am I describing the utensils rather than the pudding itself, well the fact is unless you grasp the nuances of collecting the  tipsy, you will not be able to relish the heavenly taste, that will linger long after you are done with licking your fingers clean. So the bowl is placed on the table and the hungry pack of wolves are let loose on this poor hapless vessel. At first the serving spoon is put to some use, thereafter, the mess tins and mugs enamelled are dipped into the gooey dish and then in sheer desperation the hands are resorted to, to fill whatever can serve as a dish, so caps, water bottles, scooped palms everything is fair in love, war and for the tipsy. There have been occasions when someone lost his watch in the bowl, which was found by someone else a little while later, which was duly returned to the owner after licking the last traces of this cuisine. There can never be enough of this tipsy as second, third and nth helping is very much par for the course.

I am sure I have aroused enough curiosity by now for the reader to know what this mouth-watering dish is all about. Well calling it a mere piece of cake is sheer travesty and the chefs have every right to take an offence. It comprises many layers of juicy fruits, exotic dry fruits, fresh cream, custard ,jam   or marmalade, crumbs of Marie biscuits  with sponge cake as the base, immersed in fruit syrup with cherry toppings. Of course each chef has his own recipe where he or she creates this masterpiece and each one must be feeling like a true artist. I can imagine him/her looking at their creation admiringly as though it is Monalisa  herself which they have painted. Be honest, isn’t it worth diving into or dying for ? 

Tipsy is a love affair, all of us are enamoured by the aroma and naturally it lasts a lifetime. Even today when many of us have gracefully retired and are senior citizens, tipsy makes us give up all our resolves. Given a choice between salvation and tipsy I am sure all of us would plump for the latter without batting an eyelid. Buddha was lucky, he was not tempted by tipsy as the chefs then had not yet come up with this celestial offering, else he too would have succumbed. Why do you think, we haven’t had any other incarnations after that? Although I am all for the Be Indian Buy Indian, and savour all desi cuisines but when it comes to tipsy I am afraid my vote would go for tipsy and tipsy alone, as it is second to none.

100 Grams

 

100 grams, oh my God that was what did her in finally. I am sure most of you are aware of this weight fiasco which Vinesh Phogat, the lioness of a wrestler had to face and in the bargain end up being disqualified. Reminds me of that famous dialogue "Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano.." from Shahrukh starrer "Om Shanti Om". Vinesh would be asking the same question, "Ek 100 grams ki kimat tum kya jano..!"Wonder why didn't her staff include some of our sabji-wallas or street vendors who would have tilted the scales by upto 500 grams without even batting an eyelid and no one would have been the wiser. I am not sure how many of you have encountered these experts who can tamper with any scale to make the vegetable weigh more or less as per their convenience, but let me assure you there are plenty in every city displaying this skill of hoodwinking the customers. The moment our team had got wind of this tricky situation they should have immediately pressed these guys into service, if required they should have been flown in a private jet to Paris, as they would have saved the day for us. After all it was the only Silver/Gold for our country so far, which was at stake. Alternately we could have demanded a collective weighing-in like they resort to during flights as they weigh the luggage of the complete group if they are travelling by the same ticket. I am sure the other wrestlers would have been able to balance things out. For just this piddly 100 grams, the medal was lost.

Weighing-in is a ritual whose sanctity is recognised by those who have been associated with Boxing and Wrestling. In the training academies, most of us have had to bear this brunt sometime or the other, sometimes even to gain weight but generally to lose some. As fighting in a lower weight category has its obvious advantages, but at times since there is a void in the higher category and fielding a player is a must to avoid losing out on points, some have to be force fed to gain those those precious grams. In the academies there were set drills for losing weight, we would put on a couple of jerseys and go for a run to sweat out, invariably that was adequate. But at times, when this did not suffice, 'blanket parade' too was resorted to, where the contender was wrapped in a couple of blankets and a couple of hits with hockey sticks  ensured that additional water content  present in the body  also pored out in sweat. Precisely what Vinesh and her team tried in more sophisticated way in sauna suits.

Weight management is an important part of our annual medical examinations too, where the Medical Specialists are known to extract their pound of flesh from the over weight or obese officers. While they would not mind parting with a pound of flesh literally, if it got them off the hook, but alas this doesn't happen and they are forced to undergo a strict diet regimen in the grace period to somehow creep into the permissible  authorised weight.  I am blessed by my constitution, no not the Ambedkar constitution, which some people have suddenly woken upto, but my body constitution, and I have my genes to be thankful to for this blessing, as I have perpetually been in the permissible underweight category. But I have witnessed many a tigers being reduced to the status of a lamb while trying to scale the scale itself. 

Getting back to the mother of all weighing-ins, despite the best efforts of Vinesh and her support staff, a mere 100 grams became a bridge too far for her. Funnily the World Wrestling body permits a relaxation of upto two kgs, but IOC does not provide any such relaxation in the rules. I wonder what if she was merely 10 grams overweight, would she have been still disqualified; is there no relaxation whatsoever? A hundred grams in 50 kgs is just 0.2 percent, now this precision, while highly desirable but practically is a tall order. Forget the conspiracy theorists and the social media troll army, she did succeed in dethroning the current world champion and winning three back to back bouts.  She definitely deserves to be given her due. So let us celebrate the sheer grit and effort displayed by her, that itself is worth a medal.

Unity in Diversity

  "Hasina Bhag Jayegi" screamed one of the headlines, the other read "Shaken Hasina", yet another one was "Ek Hasina Thi" and there were countless memes on the social media on the 5th Aug. Isn't it a strange coincidence that 49 years ago, it was in the month of Aug 15th 1975 to be precise, when Shaikh Mujib's government was overthrown in a bloody coup with his complete family wiped out except Shaikh Hasina and her sister Rehana. Month of August is just not very august for this nation, or if we look at it from the perspective of the agitators, it is as they have been able to throw out an unpopular government. Ironically she won a two thirds majority in Jan this year itself, but without any opposition as BNP had decided to boycott the elections. This is the most important lesson to take home for us in India.

We need a credible opposition in a healthy democracy, without one the powers that be, can develop a tendency towards authoritarianism. Opposition for the sake of opposition as has been witnessed in the last about two decades is not healthy and for a change the events in Bangladesh have again shown that democratic values are in tact in India, with unanimous support cutting across party lines for Shaikh Hasina being provided shelter. I am sure these events have served a wake up call to both sides of the political divide, nobody wants this kind of anarchy in our country. The so called "Arab Spring" is such a misnomer, as it has failed to usher in any fragrance in any of the countries where it has been unleashed. In fact it ought to be referred to as rather "Turbulent and Ferocious Tsunami" which has not spared anyone in its wake, the country in tatters, economy in doldrums and the masses subjected to total anarchy as against organised governance. Yes there was discontent in all the cases, be it Tunisia, Yemen, Egypt, Libya, SriLanka, Ukraine or even Bangladesh now, but the so called revolution have been orchestrated by the 'Deep State' as it serves their interests not of the host country. The script has been replayed time and again since 2010 when Tunisia was the first to go, the perpetrators learnt its lessons from Iraq, where troops were committed to achieve the objective of overthrowing the government. Now they have perfected this into an art form, they just act as  a catalyst after providing the initial trigger. 

India which boasts of 'Unity in Diversity' is an ideal candidate for the inimical forces to play this game, as they have been trying to exploit this diversity by creating a divide. Religion, caste based reservation, economic disparity provide them with just the right material and perception of the masses can be moulded into believing anything at all, the moment, they are convinced they are under threat. The natural defence mechanism of survival kicks in as a reflex action, logic and rational thinking is given a burial and an ugly dangerous mob is born.Fortunately for us despite their best efforts during the protests associated with CAA and Farm Laws, they could not reach criticality. But mind you, they are down but not out and will be at it sooner than later.

Social media and AI have proved to be such an asset in this game being played where the target country just loses the plot as it is overwhelmed by all kinds of lies and fake media are peddled without any qualms. For the nation to address this threat the only panacea is our strong institutions, be they Armed Forces, Judiciary, Media or Bureaucracy. In the current scenario in our neighbourhood, the institutions failed, as these pillars of any democracy have their roles cut out where at times, the pressure needs to be provided a vent for release. Our leaders have also acted with maturity when things seemed to be getting out of hand, like in the Farmer's agitation, a roll back and an apology did manage to diffuse a potentially dangerous situation.

We must honour our democratic values and not play into the hands of forces inimical to our national interests. Our youth must learn to reject  communalism, religious extremism tread cautiously on social media, read extensively not on what's app university but history, religious scriptures and engage in healthy debates rather than spew vitriol on your supposed adversaries who are just your brothers and comrades. Here is wishing and praying that sanity will prevail. We have defied all nay sayers in the last seventy five years by nurturing our heterogeneity and actually benefittng from it. We must guard it with all our might as that probably isthe reason why we shall overcome all these challenges. 

कुछ बात है कि हस्ती मिटती नहीं हमारी।

सदियों रहा है दुश्मन दौरे ज़मां हमारा।।