Honeymoon Supari

 Honeymoon was all honey albeit many moons ago, after the recent Sonam-Raja one which resulted in the groom being despatched to his heavenly abode while the coy bride did the disappearing act till the real long arms of law finally caught up with her and her accomplices. The arms turned out to be really long for a change, from Indore in Madhya Pradesh to Shillong in Meghalaya and finally it was Gazipur in UP where she did emerge as though from thin air. Honeymooners are known to indulge in occasional pranks, but this one took the cake really. 

I casually asked our domestic help a young lad all of 25 who had just got married, as to where was he planning his mooning, the poor guy is yet to recover from my suggestion. He made his wife swear not to utter the 10 letter dirty word ever, after all he has no intention of landing up in some deep gorge being gorged by the wildlife. Parents of the newly weds are naturally overjoyed as they have been spared the additional strain on their precarious budget, mother in laws in particular have heaved a huge sigh of relief. The reasons are many but the primary one being spared the blushes of witnessing their dutiful ‘संस्कारी बहू’ (cultured daughter-in-law) turn into Urfi Javed, roaming around all the hills and beaches barely clad and their images plastered all over the social media. These photos are the most embarrassing  bit, where the Saasu Ma is forced to suddenly acquire a broadminded persona.

In our family we have religiously followed this ‘no honeymoon’ policy quite seriously, after all my grandparents didn’t, nor did my parents, so we too followed suit. Guess what we have always been known for our foresight and farsightedness, so steered clear. “ना रहेगा बाँस ना बजेगी बाँसुरी”, as they say in Hindi. Honeymoon incidentally has a strong lunar connection, the period was almost that of one lunar cycle, i.e. if it starts on full moon day, then it culminates on the next full moon. The first couple of days are supposed to be all tenderness and love and this is expected to last at least the complete cycle, hence the name. But poor Sonam, she misunderstood the duration, 12th May was a full moon day and she presumed the honeymoon was over that day itself, so the faux pas. 

Many old timers like me are now wary, as our second honeymoon is supposed to have commenced, happily retired, kids settled, no liabilities. We are looking at and treating our worthy spouses with new found respect after this episode and are at her beck and call. In our professional life our appraisals by the superiors always mentioned that we were ‘go getters’, which has been latched onto by the boss at home who keeps us engaged by, you guessed it, getting all the stuff from the market and in the household to make ourselves useful. The sword of honeymoon is enough to scare us into quiet domesticity.

Travel agents have been caught in a bind, if they so much as mention “H” the groom scampers. Business is taking a hit, the smarter ones are repackaging the deal instead of “honeymoon safari”, with separate negotiations with the bride about the other necessary arrangements as well, ‘honeymoon-supari’ obviously.

Modern Day Quixote

 

MODERN DAY QUIXOTE

Fd Marshal Asim Munir can be compared with the seventeenth century fictional character, Don Quixote, who lived in his make believe world, having read about the exploits of tyranny of the Islamic invaders who plundered our country in the last millennia. Quixote, also assumed the title of Don as his modern day avatar Asim Munir has anointed himself Fd Marshal. Quixote tilted at the wind mills, and declared himself the winner, so did the Chief of Army Staff of Pakistan. Anyone else in his position would have quietly resigned having suffered the ignominy of being reduced to suing for peace within four days after having sworn to deliver a resounding victory for his forces. 

He also reminds me of another fictional screen character, Soorma Bhopali of Sholay fame, I am sure most Indian readers would be familiar with his name. ‘Soorma' meaning brave  warrior in Urdu, would narrate stories of his valour to the hangers on as to how he single handedly caught two ruffians by the scruff of their neck, when the heroes Jai and Veeru suddenly make an unannounced appearance forcing him to change his tune totally. Asim Munir too has sold his own narrative firstly to himself, and then to his gullible countrymen. His country as we all know is famous for only two kinds of export to the world, one of course is terrorism and the other being donkeys. Having been rearing assess for so long their wisdom too has gone on a long recess, wonder whether it will ever find its way back.

Terror organisations and extremist groups have their own self styled rank structure with many of them donning the mantle of Generals. That is reason enough for Munir too to declare himself a Fd Marshal, as when these rag-tag forces can have their very own Generals, Pakistan Army ought to have a Fd Marshal. Genuinely intrigued by this promotion, I started to peruse the etymology of this rank itself, and to my surprise I discovered that the term traces its origin to the Middle Ages, where the keeper of the horses was supposed to be Field Marshal. Horses are now only for ceremonial purposes in modern armies, so may be in keeping with the age old traditions, this ceremonial rank was bestowed upon him as well. Interestingly Pak Army is supposed to be a big business enterprise and their Quarter Master General (QMG) must be a highly coveted appointment and sure enough Munir had tenanted that very same appointment right  before becoming the Chief.

Not satisfied with this elevation, he went ahead and invited himself to the Washington Military Parade itself till the White House Administration was forced to issue a clarification to the contrary. If there is one award that he truly deserves that would be the Goebbels  (Nazi Propaganda Minister of the Third Reich during Second World War) Award for spinning the wildest possible propaganda yarn of the millennium.

The Nation Needs to Know

 

“It is the best of times, it is the worst of times”, Charles Dickens wrote that in the past tense, in his classic novel, “A Tale of Two Cities”. Here we are literally living in these very times, interesting and intriguing at the same time. In the last week we have been bombarded by the news channels and social media about the ghastly murder of Raja by his wily wife Sonam, the gory details being shared as though each one of us was the investigating officer and also the judge. Oblivious to the happenings in the world, we were in our cocoon till two incidents shook the world, which was just about recovering from the India-Pak skirmish. Israel went ahead and bombed the nuclear facilities of its nemesis Iran and the Air India AI-171 Boeing 787-8 Dreamliner crashing within minutes of its take off in a Medical College Hostel premises in Ahmedabad killing 272 passengers and several doctors and the staff there.

While we are still numb with the shock, the electronic media vultures are out to make a killing. Like a mob, they swarm to the accident sites and start their non-stop coverage which does not help the rescue operations at all, instead becomes the greatest hindrance. Air Force Pilots are in “Cockpit readiness”, as the highest degree of alert in operational situations or sometimes they even have a ‘Combat Air Patrol’ flying in the area to address any adverse situation within seconds. Our media personnel are giving these fly-boys a complex as before one can say Jack Robinson they are at the site with the microphones being thrust in the face of victims asking inane questions and repeating ad-nauseam, that they are the first to break the news and theirs is an exclusive report. I am sure they have their own terms for this high level of alert, my guess is they must be calling them, “OB Van Readiness”, “Media Patrol” and may be even ‘Media Ambush’, where they target hapless officials and survivors and launch their barrage of questions without even a breather.

The race for TRPs has degenerated the level of reporting to such an extent that even social media appears more responsible in comparison. We have seen our media going overboard countless number of times, I think it began with Kargil when a certain media celebrity gave away our defensive location, inviting enemy shelling within minutes causing casualties to own troops and jeopardising our operations. It got even worse during the Mumbai 26/11 attack, when our media in their exuberance helped the terrorist handlers in Pakistan guide Kasab and his ilk towards those areas in the Hotel, where guests had taken refuge, getting them killed in the bargain. 

Unfortunately our  electronic media has refused to learn any lessons which was evident in their conduct and coverage during recent Operation Sindoor. The fact that their credibility is at an all time low does not bother them one bit, all that matters is that they have something supposedly exclusive. With the advent of AI, their imagination too has run wild, now anything and everything can be peddled as truth and beamed. Our media has been running a campaign where they have declared the Third World War ever since the Russia-Ukraine conflict  which commenced three years ago. If it was upto them we would have had a nuclear holocaust many times by now, and POK captured couple of years ago.  

Most of us have given up watching any news whatsoever, as even Western Media have their pronounced biases, so there is no objective reporting at all. Print media still retains some sanity, as their credibility still matters, plus they are not the minute to minute warriors unlike their electronic media friends. It is high time the government reins in these channels and issues guidelines on ethical reporting and penalise the erring ones. I know we will be treading a dangerous course here as media will be up in arms about their freedom being in peril, but when it comes to national security matters, we ought to be more responsible. As was demonstrated by the All Party Delegations which had gone around the world recently, a similar Audit Committee could be constituted with representation from not only major political parties, senior retired bureaucrats and defence officials who could take a call when there are reports about media misreporting facts. By no means am I advocating any kind of censorship but even an audit post the event could penalise the defaulters to the extent of  barring them from covering such events or even revoking their licences in case of grave misdemeanours endangering national security.  The Press Club of India acts as the Ombudsman for print media, but there is no such body for electronic media whatsoever, high time the government gets its act together as responsible news reporting and coverage helps the people as also their representatives. The nation does need to know the Facts, after all.

DIL TO BACHHA HAI JI

 Oh the joy of finding small treasures on our morning walks, these could be a peacock feather, a raw mango which had been the victim of heavy winds severing it from the tree or even beautiful jasmine flowers with the pleasant aroma in the air or sighting of a bird hatching its eggs. You must be wondering, which resort provides these on a platter, where you can plan your next outing, well the answer is, this heavenly abode is Mhow, where we the blessed ones get to spend some precious time. For us, this opportunity is all the more special, as soon it will be time to bid adieu and move to the hustle and bustle of Indore. Although Mhow is just about 30 kms from Indore where we intend to move shortly but these two towns are as different as chalk and cheese, one is a budding metro with aspiring gentry, the youth raring to go, the other is a retired person’s (like me) haven, where time stands still. The morning evening walks, watching sunrise and sunset from your own dwelling, the multiple hues and colours of dusk, the chirping of birds in the garden, the squirrels and butterflies keeping us company and with no honking horns or blaring music, pollution free breeze, this place is pure bliss. How I wish we could continue to stay here, but life’s compulsions force us to move on, at least for now.

These walks are very fruitful as I invariably end up picking up some fruits which have fallen down by the roadside. These days it is mango season and naturally I find plenty of them, which in normal course would just rot away, as surprise of surprises, firstly there aren’t very many people enjoying the salubrious environs out for these walks and secondly even those who are out don’t bother to bend down for such lowly activities. I for one, have no such qualms, in fact I rather enjoy it, as it reminds me of my childhood, when my younger sibling Sujay and self would pick these raw mangoes on our way back after morning Tennis in the local club in Dhar. The lip smacking raw mango chutney was a delicacy which my mother would serve us during the lunch, if we hadn’t already partaken them straight. These pickings were not restricted to mangoes, but even Amlas (Indian Gooseberry), jamun, guavas or tamarind all was fair game. The activity was taken to a different level in our residential school, where it was not just pickings, it was well planned and executed raids, where gardens of master’s houses were targeted and some of us armed with pillow cases to store the loot used to go on this early morning adventure. Invariably we would end up picking these fruits rather raw, but that didn’t matter, the thrill of quietly sneaking in, climbing the trees,  collecting the fruits and then making a quiet undetected get away required military precision. This was sort of baptism for our later years when we would indulge in the same activities as a profession, no not the stealing but the raids and ambushes as  military tactics.

Some of you may know a certain author by the name of KP Saxena, a renowned Hindi humorist, famous as the dialogue writer of film “Lagaan”. He was a regular contributor to children’s Hindi magazine,”Parag”, which we subscribed and really enjoyed reading. One of the stories in that related to a seventy-two year old grand pa who would spoil his grand kids and have fun behaving just about their age, aptly titled,”Bahattar Sal ka Bachha”. I am not there yet, but sure enough we all are heading in that direction at breakneck speed. Almost six decades gone in the blink of an eye literally, but the child within is still live and kicking which still indulges in these occasional mischiefs because “Dil to bachha hai ji..”

Incidentally this morning the treasure trove was almost a kg and a half worth of mangoes, which shall be savoured immediately after I finish this piece, so long..

HOW MANY RAFALES DOWN

 

https://thesuyashsharma.com/how-many-rafales-down/#:~:text=How%20many%20Rafales-,Down,-by%20Suyash%20Sharma

 

How many Rafales down? The question is now playing like a stuck record and reminds one of the song, “Who let the dogs out?” OP SINDOOR as we all know is a  military operation where India and Pak have not just exchanged a few shells but have actually gone ballistic literally. The Operation is currently paused, as declared by the Govt of India. There have been claims that India has lost some aircrafts in this four day skirmish. Although the question when posed to Air Marshal Bharti on 10th May during the debriefing itself, was  responded to tongue in cheek that in any such military offensive action there are bound to be losses, the pilots however are safe. The CDS Gen Chauhan too responded to a similar query recently in Singapore, mentioning that it is not important as to how many went down, what was remarkable was to drive the lessons home and execute operations immediately after that. It is obvious that some aircrafts were forced out of action, else the rebuttal would have been a categorical denial of the claims by the adversary. In the same breath, it is worth pondering over that the Pak claim of six aircrafts going down that too at least four of them in Punjab and Rajasthan could not be substantiated by a single incontrovertible evidence, as there were no debris traced anywhere. In this age of social media, that is quite unusual, where as there were plenty of videos  which emerged from across the border their air bases and terrorist organisational headquarters were visibly damaged. 

Aircrafts are  highly complex platforms and these could be plagued by technical snags even mid flight, which though highly undesirable and improbable but can’t be ruled out. But the exact numbers and the reasons thereof must already be addressed by the IAF. As of now why this clamour to know the exact numbers is really not understood. In the fog of war, casualties are inevitable  both of men and material but are never made public while the Operation is on.

Adversaries would be keen to know as it effects them directly, if the aircraft did go down due to technical reasons alone, it implies that their weapon systems failed to deliver. But if the Rafale or any other platform did go down due to PL-15 then they are reassured abut the efficacy of their systems. Warfare is no longer just simply kinetic in nature, but a lot of other factors are at play as well. One important dimension of warfare these days is Information Warfare, where Perception Management happens to be a major pillar. Things cannot be hidden for long and ultimately the truth will emerge, so by withholding the information  we have provided an opportunity to the adversary to indulge in the false propaganda. Perceptions once formed tend to crystallise and even facts to the contrary are deemed as suspect and a cover up.  The nations who are arms exporters too have their own vested interests. This was the first occasion when Chinese systems  were tested in the battlefield and global powers were awaiting the verdict of this deadly duel.On the very next day Dassault, the French makers of Rafale  shares took a hit and the Chengdu Aircraft Corporation got a boost, but that was short lived as facts started to emerge and the share market did the necessary course corrections.

The opposition has every right to hold the government of the day accountable but there is a time and place for it. Government too needs to rein in its spokespersons and refrain from drawing political mileage, which in any case will benefit them. Even if the claims by the adversary turn out to be true, the opposition should have sought the answers to their query in confidence rather than through the media. Pursuing this course is pure politicking, aim being to neutralise any gains which the ruling dispensation has gained due to the success of the operation. We need to be on our guard, as situation is still tense. Matters of national security should not be trivialised, so hold your horses folks, you will get your answer at the appropriate time.  

The Wannabe Cowboy

 "Hey what is with your beard?" was my bitter better half's reaction, my nonagenarian Dad admonished,"Just because you have retired doesn't mean you can move around in such a slovenly manner, go shave." I have yet to  recover from these barbs, here I was trying to ace my Clint Eastwood look, a childhood icon. I mean honestly who in our generation doesn't recall "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" and its unforgettable signature tune. As it is, the cowboy movies were always such a rage with us, the Gunfight at OK Corral variety and Country music like that of Kenny Rogers and Don Williams. What attracted me were the  "stetson hats" and these hats didn't just fit in with the clean shaven chins, a rugged unshaven look was a prerequisite to carry this persona. Alas, in uniform, it remained a dream unfulfilled, where each morning the razor dutifully struck the night stubble with vengeance removing any and every trace, down to the roots of that tiny little sprout which dared to make an appearance. Some credit must go to the perseverance of these follicles too, for years they have been literally nipped in the bud, but they don't give up or give in, just keep at it. I wonder if it is hope which keeps them alive or they have simply resigned themselves to their fate like the poor chick which knows its eggs are destined to reach the breakfast table in the form of omelettes only.

So here I was, a veteran of 38 years in uniform with an additional four years   in  training academies, where too, we had to perforce subject our chins to this unmitigated torture daily, without a break. As a kind hearted soul that I am, I took pity on my chin and also on these strands which stand out like the much abused "parali" (left over stubble after harvesting in a field), waiting to be executed yet again. But this world does not believe in such harmless acts, where we are essentially providing some much needed relief to our own face, letting it be as it was ordained to be, by the Almighty himself. I am sure "beard" itself would have demanded a special status as none objected to the hair on the upper lip, which could be twirled  proudly as moustaches. Just imagine, merely a pair of lips away, such discrimination, high time the Supreme Court took suo  moto notice and issued directives and prevent this   unceremonious butchering. No wonder, the beard has got its vengeance, with the young generation of kids going with the bearded look, taking a cue from their Cricket stars like Kohli, Rahul, Rohit et al, for a change, the youth have forsaken the clean shaven Shahrukh, Amir, Saif, Akshay, Sunny look totally. 

So here I was in an act of rebellion, trying to stand shoulder to shoulder or should I say beard to beard in an act of solidarity with our 'Gen Zee'. Yes there were more grey than black in the salt and pepper growth of mine but, finally I had broken the shackles of razors, blades, shaving gels and after shave lotions. I was loving my look, donned the stetson a dozen times, stood in front of the mirror admiring what the mirror on the wall reflected. It took almost ten days or may be twelve, to get into this avatar  of mine, but there was one major problem, the damn thing was always itching, I applied oils, creams but they only provided temporary relief. Now looks are deadly but then this came at this unwanted cost where one was always trying to provide some relief from the discomfort. Looking for a way out of this self inflicted torture, I decided to give in and revert to the same old myself but naturally I did it as a favour to my better half, that I had heeded to her call much against my wishes and had sacrificed my Cowboy dreams. Sorry  Cowboy.. time for you to stay in vivid imaginations only as of now......except that I have put this photo on the book cover, where it shall stay forever.

 

OPERATION SINDOOR : TECHNICAL KNOCK OUT OR STALEMATE

“Chickens have come home to roost”, it is payback time for Pakistan, having indulged in terrorism as a statecraft and mastered the art of doublespeak, this time around they have bitten more than they can chew. The serene and gentle plains of Pahalgam  were bloodied in the mindless communal massacre, thus provoking the Indians to retaliate in the similar form as on previous occasions in Uri and Pulwama. But the tragedy of such a script is that it is written by both the sides and India has outgrown the self imposed cautious restraint. Today with the tag of world’s fastest growing economy which stands as the fourth largest in terms of GDP, Indian Govt has the wherewithal to tackle Pakistan in all the domains, be it military, economic or diplomatic which has been demonstrated in the last three days.

India has set itself a very clear mandate that the terrorist infrastructure must be targeted relentlessly and since there are no terrorist camps here, Pak has decided to up the ante by targeting civilians and military targets.

This has provided India the opportunity to target certain military targets as well. The fact that India thwarted all Pak attempts of retaliation by drones and missiles effectively with its S400 AD system, aptly named Sudarshan Chakra, should serve as a lesson to Pak military not to unnecessarily indulge in adventurism and push their nation towards disintegration.

The chronology of events which commenced with the speech by Pak Chief of Army Staff Gen Asim Munir to overseas Pakistanis was a clear indication of his nefarious designs. It is also widely known that he is a highly unpopular leader both in the Pak Army as also with the civilians. In order to shore up his reputation and to divert the attention of the masses, he has followed the same old path which his predecessors have been following. The bogey of India and Hindus has been known to work in their country which was born out of hatred for Hindus only. 

Pak army has always been dominated by the Punjabi Mussalman with the other ethnicities playing the second and third fiddle. At the time of partition, and for the first two odd decades their army still retained the ethos of the old British Indian Army and were free from religious dogmas. ZIa ul Haque, the Pak dictator who hanged Zulfiqar Ali Bhutto in 1978 after overthrowing his democratically elected Govt was the first one to seek the support of the mullah lobby. As luck would have, the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan also occurred at the same time and the Americans got the opportunity they were waiting for. Pak provided them the bases, training camps for the mujahideen, the Americans chipped in with cash and military hardware as also trained this ragtag force into fierce fighters. While all this was going on, Pak Army slowly and gradually started to get more and more Islamic in their approach and conduct. So much so that the militant mujahideen became a strategic asset of the army itself and were integrated into their tactical doctrines. It worked well initially as these terrorists were then diverted towards arch enemy India to execute their philosophy of ‘bleeding by thousand cuts’. Unfortunately they did not take into account the resilience and grit of our nation and the inherent strength of the institutions here.

OPERATION SINDOOR is thus not in isolation, it is an ongoing process where Pak frustration at the normalisation of conditions in Kashmir Valley, the economic stability and growth of this strife torn part had to be challenged. The message in Pahalgam was crystal clear, take the bait and walk into their well laid out ambush. Pak is supposed to have mastered the art of ‘cultivated irrationality’, and this was another example where with the nuclear overhang, any major conventional operation by India could invite a nuclear response by Pak. Perception management is a very crucial part of international diplomacy and statecraft, where Pak has been a past master and a tit for tat response can always be addressed by their own narratives. Modi Govt has called his  nuclear bluff on last two occasions also and this time gone ahead and carried out precision strikes with ample proof for the world to see and take note. 

Pakistan was bound to retaliate but their response was found wanting and effectively neutralised by Indian Armed Forces. The current situation is still developing, however international diplomacy has already swung into action. It appears that the Americans push to get India and Pak to cease hostilities has borne fruit, as both the nations had not declared themselves formally at war. This window needs to be exploited as lessons have been driven home. A war will be devastating for Pak but even Indian economy too will suffer in the bargain. Some sanity seems to have been driven into Pak, which is evident by the ceasefire declared. While analysts can continue to debate as to how this was brought about, could be IMF loan, could be a strict push by the Americans or may be even the losses suffered and its inability to carry on much longer, but it’s more than welcome. Let us hope for the best!